All of you know that I have a very very strong passion to teach. Teaching children has always been my desire. It has always been what I've wanted to pursue in the future. There's no other way to say it than my passion for teaching pours out of the overflow of my heart.
But over the course of the last 2 months or so, I have honestly been questioning my ability. All of what I once thought was bliss and glow in teaching has turned to fears of inadequacy in myself. All of my classes are education classes, and even though I love them, they discourage me at times. Everyday I hear debates on whether teachers should or should not give homework, and if so, then how much? Everyday I hear about the reality of teaching and of all its imperfections. Everyday I'm reading books that show the clash between cultures in a classroom and how to deal with them. I cannot even begin to describe how broken my heart becomes when I read the stories in these books of the lack of the possibility to compromise in some situations. Everyday I hear about "teaching to the test" and all of the strategies that come with it. The list goes on... and on... And as the list goes on... and on...my passion seems to be pinched more and more. My teachers every single day stress the hardships and difficulties that we will face as teachers. Now don't get me wrong, it is necessary to be educated in these things. For they must be brought to a future teacher's attention in order to be better prepared. But somehow the devil, over the past couple months, has gotten a hold of me in discouragement and turned it into a fear. I've questioned my passion and questioned my ability. I started thinking... there's no way I am going to be able to overcome all of these confusing moral issues.There's no way to be the teacher that I've always thought I could be... its just impossible. And the devil has used this thought to bring down my self-worth and to tear me apart. To make me think that there is no plan for success as a teacher in my future.
But then... I think on Mom and Ken... success. The best teachers I know. Being witnesses to the kingdom of God and working day in and day out to overcome these frustrating issues of teaching. Thinking on Mom and Ken... the Lord gives me hope. The Lord gives me eyes to see my future. The Lord uses these 2 amazing people specifically to break down fear and hopelessness in my life.
Tonight, I experienced freedom from fear. The Lord said to me in my brokenness tonight, "If you walk with Me, I will pave your path, and you do not have to worry." He will not allow me to walk in fear because His perfect love casts it all away. He reminded me of my deepest desires. He reminded me of my purpose. He reminded me of the hope that I once had. Don't let the devil rob you of your deepest passions, because the Lord has already made the way if you choose to walk in His love and in His mercy.
Did you know that when you put your hope in the Lord, He will uphold you? He will lift you up and He will make you strong. He will prosper you. Stand firm in the Lord.
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
He's got the whole world in His hands... do you trust that tonight?
